Water the most precious thing on earth

Hi guys beware if you are planning to come to America. You are going to suffer. No juice kadas here, if you want to drink water 500ml bottle going to cost $ 1.10 Amazed ?. but a two litter coco cola cost only $ .90 . Vellam polum kudickan kittiyela mone.

And lunch , Shucks man, here we get sandwiches with week bread and some raw vegetables (aadinum pashuvinum Koduckunnathupole ) with that, jeevickande athukondu ithum thinnunnu.

As our friends said from offshore we like to go to bergerking but the office is in a pattickadu, not accessable, Aahh athockeyoru sundara swapnam.

Tomorrow we are going to our new Appartment ????????????????????. wait for new stories

American Stories

Hi Guys, herez the "Akkidi" at the US

Last day we went out for lunch, we were so hungry and there is not much resturents nearby, even if near we can't walk out becouse of the temparature (-7)out side. so we decided to have the food from the same hotel we are staying , they are serving only american food, and we are not at all familier with any of them. any way we decided to try our luck.

Waiter came (it was a lady)

gave us the menu.

we ordered Shrimp cocktail and tuna sanwiches

And here comes the first item Shrimp cocktail, My Gooood, we thought the shrimps will jump out the the plate, it looked as they are fresh from the water, with ife, looks like non cooked and it tastes all most the same.

What to do we orderd it and we have to ate it somehow and we did it. God knows how we kept ourself from vomiting. from that day we will ask the waiter about the food and how it will look like.

Trying hard to aviod the problem once more.

Redefine Oracle Database

Herez the Shocking facts about Oracle Database revealed by or BOSS.

Foreword : There is no questions in THALLU

Our BOSS was a developer in accompany at Muscat in Oracle. He wrote a Stored Procedure in infinite loop and hanged the oracle database running on an HP RS6000 Unix version which is catering billing from 104 Countries (Eeswaraaaaaaa….). There is no security for such a critical database ?????????. Eethu policekaranum enthum kanickamo ????.

One day he was playing around with oracle database. (So from this statement we will have to assume there is no DBA, other wise who will allow a junior to play around in such a critical database) He deleted a table which contains 1 million records. Full the Administration team got panic and running to fix the problem. Then the DBA of the organization called our BOSS to find a solution. He took the receiver of the six phones on DBA’s table and placed it on the table to block all the incoming calls. He fixed the problem and restored the database with in 10 minutes and replaced all the receiver back and DBA answered the phone and the show is over. What a genius , a junior programmer fixed the issue with a DBA with years of experience cant fix. That’s our BOSS, incomparable talent.

Please contact out BOSS if you have any doubt about the Oracle database. wait……, don’t forget to ask him to spell Oracle ( God knows he knows that !!!!!!). if he did it correctly you can start questions, don’t faint after hearing the answers…. Beware guys !!!!!!!

Anthappan Stories 1

We got a team member with an alias name Anthappan. The person pretends to be a COOL GUY and says a lot Cool man Cool. But if he talks Malayalam, it will be 100 % mattanchery slang (Horrible man, we can’t make it is malalayalam or not). Actually I am trying give you guys some light on his GENERAL KNOWLEDGE.

Story Background : There is a bakery at “Kacherippady jn.” On the way Anthappan goes to office

One day( the day, on the best bakery case verdict is supposed to come) we went out for lunch. We were talking about the best bakery case

Suddently

Anthappan : Oh ho Best Bakery, wht happened ?

Rest : Burnt off

Anthappan : Oh NO, I saw it today morning also when I came to the office !!!!!!!!!!!

The restaurant fills with heavy laugh.

Metamorphosis of a team lead

One of our team leads got married recently. Here is the benchmarking of that person before and after marriage. Lets check his daily schedule.



Before=======================================After

Comes to office at 10 AM============Comes to office 9:30 AM

Wander around the office for one hour=====its on the seat absent minded

Teases others============================Others teases him

Start His work do well==================Open a document and stare to the
monitor absent minded

Go for Lunch at 1 PM===================Go for lunch at 12 PM

Comes back at 1:30====================Comes back at 2:30 PM sleepy

Start Work===========================Wander around and sit absent minded

Leave the office by 9 PM=============Start walking to and fro from 5:30 PM

Leaves the office at sharp 6 PM




A drastic change in the attitude is observed : Now a days don’t like to come to office

Kaivittu Poyee Moneeeeeeeee… Life Kattappoka allengil konjatta

Pavam team members, enthocke kandala ouru jeevitham kazhinjupopunne ?? Alle ?.

The UPS Tragedy

This is the story of a “Bolt from the Blue” to our Boss

Story Background: - This happened on a meeting with Network Administrator. Boss was teaching them how to monitor and manage a network. The class went on for more then an hour. And then the incident took place

BOSS : Keto Koottukara, when I was in my previous company, a UPS exploded and the concrete roof blown off !!!!!

NAdmin : Ya Ya I head bout it,

BOSS : (Stunned, BOSS knows very well that he was THALLING” , but astonished to hear a greater THALLU from his subordinate. It was beyond his wildest dreams). How do you know ????????

NAdmin : I think I read it from the news paper , It came in the news paper right ?

BOSS : Yes, Shall we stop the meeting, I have another appointment ? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Network guys sighs in relief, they got their life back.

(This was the actual story, it is mentioned in a comment from one of our "KOOTTUKARAN")

The Timely Act of Escape

Herez another miraculous act by our BOSS. Let me tell this “THALLU” in his version itself. Background – BOSS was studying in Bangalore (God Knows what he was studying at Bangalore – Till this story he was telling he took his MCA from Selam- But TALLIL no questions Listen like an obedient subordinate). One day I was traveling from Hosur to Bangalore (Note that the full highway is having a median) on a high speed then suddenly I saw a car is coming in the opposite in a very high speed ( we don’t know how it can happen because the road is two line one way), there was no way to stop the bike with out collide it with the car because the bike was at such a high speed, so suddenly I checked the other way on the opposite side, there was no vehicle coming and I made my bike to jump the median and placed my bike safely on the other side.

Do you find it hard to swallow?

No problem come and joins our firm we will teach you how to hear these kind of stupid THALLU with out any reaction.

Technique to Overtake a vehicle

Herez the world known technique from our BOSS to over take a Heavy Vehicle like truck when you ride a bike. He was successfully implemented this many times. When you are going behind a truck, How do you Over take ??. It is a question right ?.. Here is the answer from my BOSS to solve this Himalayan Task of overtaking in BOSS’s way. First you tilt the vehicle and look beneath the truck and find out if there is any vehicle is coming in the opposite direction we are traveling, if there is none then over take the truck in full speed. Our fate what else to say, we are heard this many times as describing himself as a master rider and his techniques

The Story of SOMETHING LIKE THAT

The quote SOMETHING LIKE THAT, I think nobody will forget, who ever worked in my company, because it is the favorite quote of our BOSS and they have heard hell a lot of time. There are lot of memorable incidents he used his quote SOMETHING LIKE THAT. Here are two such incidents.

Our corporate office is in US and we are in our India offshore delivery center, while working on a project here we faced a major problem and we called the Project Manager there (In US). You know there are 12 Hour time difference between India and US, so we are making this call at stark mid night as per US timings, and BOSS was making the call, the call connected to the Project Manger’s Home number and the Fist Question from after Hello from our BOSS was “ Hi ….. ARE YOU SLEEPING OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT ?..”. Very nice question to ask to a person in the middle of the night. Isn’t it ?. PM was a gentleman, so we are lucky we didn’t hear any abusing words from him. “The call was on Speaker Phone”

Another Historical event that only a dumb ass can tell. We got a new senior project member joined from Bangalore after a weeks time he was going back to Bangalore for his personal matters, our boss said “ (Persons Name) NEXT TIME WHEN YOU ARE COMING WHY CAN’T YOU BRING YOUR WIFE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT”

He too was a nice fellow, this time also he is safe.

Another Skill of the BIG BOSS

This story told to me on my appraisal meeting to express his achievements. When he was in Ireland (God knows he saw Ireland on a globe ,map or somthing like that, I doubt it), his office was on the fifth floor he used to ride his bike through steps to the office every day. It caused grabbing attention from lot of people, but he never mind all those people (Ha ha ha I doubt he was working with some circus company before… , but if he was with circus company he must have been a BAFOON, no other way). Nice subject to be told on an appraisal meeting is isn’t it ?????????